I go to heavy metal concerts a lot, which to some people means I get depressed/angry, put on white face paint and a black shirt, then sacrifice some variety of livestock to Satan. As much as I hate to disappoint people, metal shows rarely involve any animal fatalities save for some overly ambitious insect life. […]
comedy
Minivan Madness
Thus far my efforts to be socially popular have been modestly successful (only three restraining orders), so I decided to get a vehicle that bursts with flair, hipness, and societal envy. Since I have children, I am unfortunately constrained to what I can purchase. I was going to buy a nice two-seater sports car, then […]
Shakespeare for Beginners
My enjoyment of Shakespeare has made me something of a legend–mostly because I’m one of the few people anyone knows who actually reads Shakespeare voluntarily. Because of my interest in Shakespeare, I make it a point to subtly bring it up in every conversation I have. People smile and nod, then they start Googling mental institutions […]