Humor on a Broad Scale
Some of you might have been enjoying life up until now, but you really haven’t hit the peak of your existence until you’ve drunk coffee that’s worked its way through a weasel’s colon. Alas, I have not hit the peak of my existence, largely because I’ve never been daring enough to drink poop coffee. They […]
Here at Fledgling Enterprises, we realize that every toy manufacturer has the IQ of a grapefruit. They all suffer from a collective delusion that children want to enjoy their lives. Most of our employees have back stories so sad and pathetic that Lifetime would go out of business if we decided to make their stories […]
Running is as appealing to me as having a porcupine shoved down my windpipe. Other people either don’t think so, or they enjoy feeling quills burrowing through their trachea. I know this because I often see people running, even in the winter. For those of you who don’t live up north, January graces us with […]
Throughout our lives, we often have to interact with idiots who’d be better off building a bonfire on an ice raft. But because those people are really bad at building fires, unfortunately they never tumble into the icy waters, sparing us of their idiocy. You’ll frequently encounter these genetically defective twits as you go through […]
Navigating Pittsburgh is like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube while being hit in the head with a shovel. Despite the fact that I’ve driven there on several occasions, I have thus far been unable to untangle the massive labyrinth of pavement that the city refers to as roads. It’s a little-known fact that some […]
Ah, casinos… When it comes to luck, I don’t have much of it. I know this because of rigorous, completely scientific tests I’ve conducted that involve buying lottery tickets and then not winning. However, my wife has told me on numerous occasions that I’m lucky she’s married to me, and she’s right. But then again, […]
Interviewer: Good morning. Come right in. Canary: Thank you. Interviewer: So, you know we’re interviewing for a coal mining position. Canary: Yep! Interviewer: And we really appreciate your enthusiasm. Canary: I flew as fast as I could to be here ten minutes early. Interviewer: That’s the spirit. Canary: The prospect of having a job is […]