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Delusions of Pretension

Humor on a Broad Scale

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How to Be a Movie Snob

How to Be a Movie Snob

by Sam · Aug 15, 2018

Few things in life are as glorious as being able to talk about movies with a monumental level of ease and prowess.  I know this because I’m able to talk about movies with a monumental level of ease and prowess.  Some of the lesser informed peons who infect this planet see my broad movie knowledge […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: blog, humor, movies, satire

The Completely Not Fake News Report

The Completely Not Fake News Report

by Sam · Aug 1, 2018

Social Media—Research has shown that social media do nothing but good when it comes to civil discourse.  Harold Jackson, an analyst, told us his perspective on the topic: “The best way to learn anything about the world is to read two to three sentence bits of information that people post on social media.  Reading books […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: blog, blogging, fake news. news, humor, parody, satire

Horses: A Totally Serious Meditation

Horses: A Totally Serious Meditation

by Sam · Jun 27, 2018

I was watching a YouTube video of a Bugatti, which is a car that costs about as much as the entire state of Missouri, and I got to thinking about horses.  There was some train of thought, because Bugattis are expensive, and so are Ferraris, and Ferrari has a horse logo, therefore I decided I […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: blog, car, horse, humor, race

Wine: How to Drink It like a Really Smart Person

Wine: How to Drink It like a Really Smart Person

by Sam · Jun 6, 2018

When I tell people I like wine, I get the impression that what they really hear is, “I like consuming so much alcohol that control of my bodily functions is the high point of my life.” People don’t actually say that to me, but I can see the boundless judgment in their piercing, wine-colored eyes.  […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: blog, humor, wine

Groundhog Town Council Minutes

Groundhog Town Council Minutes

by Sam · May 23, 2018

March 22, 8:00 pm:  All groundhogs on the council assembled.  Mayor Phil ate grass for two hours then fell asleep on top of his secretary.  The town council agreed to a 24-hour recess. March 23, 8:00 pm: Mayor Phil called the meeting to order and motioned for a three-week recess.  No objection from the council, […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: blog, groundhog, humor, rodent, town council

The Comb-Over Toupee: The Savior of Your Social Life

The Comb-Over Toupee: The Savior of Your Social Life

by Sam · May 9, 2018

At Hair Peace Industries (a subdivision of Fledgling Enterprises), where you’re at peace with your hair piece, we understand the cultural and social importance of the comb-over better than anyone.  We know that the comb-over is the glue that holds your social life together, and its subtlety channels life energy from the universe.  Some people […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: blog, comb over, hairpiece, humor, toupee

Pretension Lesson: Use Books to Look Smart

Pretension Lesson: Use Books to Look Smart

by Sam · Apr 25, 2018

So, you ask, how can I be more pretentious?  The easiest way is to use words in combinations that don’t make any sense, thereby making the listeners feel stupid and making you look great.  For example, instead of saying, “I like to read books,” say, “The various permutations of counterintuitive vagabonds metaphorically amplify ergonomic sensations […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: books, humor, pretentious, reading

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