It occurred to me that some may be wondering why the fairly large gaps between posts this year. I’m quite tempted to write some eloquent post, loaded with profundity and wit to explain my blog lapses. Instead, I’ll limit my pretension to that previous sentence and just be direct. I’ve devoted more of my time […]
humor
Ghost Writer
Being a ghost, I’m occasionally pestered by some overzealous weirdos called ghost hunters. Basically, they wander into abandoned buildings with beeping devices they bought in the bargain bin at Radio Shack, and they wait for ghosts like me to moan. Or something. Apart from having had ghost hunters come after me, I’ve taken the liberty […]
House Broken
Like most people, you probably need a place to eat, sleep, and securely stalk people on social media. Some of you might even prefer to do those things inside a building. Where you live is very much tied to your state of mind (I have no idea if that’s true, but it sounds really smart). […]
Opinionated Powerhouse
Interviewer: I’d like to introduce our guest, Mr. Albert Blair. He’s here to talk about why having opinions is so difficult and why he’s made it his life goal to be completely neutral about everything. Thank you for being here Albert. Albert: Thank you for having me. I’m sure this will change the world. Interviewer: […]
The Wombat of Wall Street
Because I’m well-informed, I have no idea how the stock market actually works. Now, if you’ve continued reading after that sentence, you’re either as well-informed as I am, a cocky investor who’s just waiting to prove all my points wrong, or you’ve had such a boring day that reading a blog post about the stock […]
Poopy Coffee
Some of you might have been enjoying life up until now, but you really haven’t hit the peak of your existence until you’ve drunk coffee that’s worked its way through a weasel’s colon. Alas, I have not hit the peak of my existence, largely because I’ve never been daring enough to drink poop coffee. They […]
Grizzly Bears and Babies
Here at Fledgling Enterprises, we realize that every toy manufacturer has the IQ of a grapefruit. They all suffer from a collective delusion that children want to enjoy their lives. Most of our employees have back stories so sad and pathetic that Lifetime would go out of business if we decided to make their stories […]