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Delusions of Pretension

Humor on a Broad Scale

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Chipmunks and Horror Movies

Chipmunks and Horror Movies

by Sam · Oct 24, 2019

Avery: So, Mr. Jenkins, you said you had a horror movie pitch for me? Jenkins: Yes Mr. Avery. I’ve been working on it for some time. Three years, actually. Avery: And you do realize that you’re not going to get a large budget for this film if we make it? Jenkins: Oh, I very much […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: blog, chipmunk, comedy, horror, horror movie, movie

Me Explaining Stuff

Me Explaining Stuff

by Sam · Oct 24, 2019

It occurred to me that some may be wondering why the fairly large gaps between posts this year. I’m quite tempted to write some eloquent post, loaded with profundity and wit to explain my blog lapses. Instead, I’ll limit my pretension to that previous sentence and just be direct. I’ve devoted more of my time […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: blog, comedy, explain, humor

Ghost Writer

Ghost Writer

by Sam · Aug 30, 2019

Being a ghost, I’m occasionally pestered by some overzealous weirdos called ghost hunters. Basically, they wander into abandoned buildings with beeping devices they bought in the bargain bin at Radio Shack, and they wait for ghosts like me to moan. Or something. Apart from having had ghost hunters come after me, I’ve taken the liberty […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: blog, comedy, ghost, ghosts, humor

Poopy Coffee

Poopy Coffee

by Sam · Jan 25, 2019

Some of you might have been enjoying life up until now, but you really haven’t hit the peak of your existence until you’ve drunk coffee that’s worked its way through a weasel’s colon. Alas, I have not hit the peak of my existence, largely because I’ve never been daring enough to drink poop coffee. They […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: blog, coffee, comedy, humor, poop

Grizzly Bears and Babies

Grizzly Bears and Babies

by Sam · Jan 11, 2019

Here at Fledgling Enterprises, we realize that every toy manufacturer has the IQ of a grapefruit. They all suffer from a collective delusion that children want to enjoy their lives. Most of our employees have back stories so sad and pathetic that Lifetime would go out of business if we decided to make their stories […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: blog, comedy, enterprises, fledgling, humor

Canary Interview (In a Coal Mine)

Canary Interview (In a Coal Mine)

by Sam · Oct 11, 2018

Interviewer: Good morning.  Come right in. Canary: Thank you. Interviewer: So, you know we’re interviewing for a coal mining position. Canary: Yep! Interviewer: And we really appreciate your enthusiasm. Canary: I flew as fast as I could to be here ten minutes early. Interviewer: That’s the spirit. Canary: The prospect of having a job is […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: blog, canary, coal mine, comedy, humor

Mario Saves the World

Mario Saves the World

by Sam · Aug 29, 2017

The best way to deal with life’s problems is playing video games.  I know this because fortune cookies never lie, especially the one that said (really), “The rubber bands are headed in the right direction.” Before video games existed, people sat around in abject misery, contemplating how they would ever find any enjoyment out of […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: comedy, humor, mario, mario brothers, nintendo, video games

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