Humor on a Broad Scale
March 22, 8:00 pm: All groundhogs on the council assembled. Mayor Phil ate grass for two hours then fell asleep on top of his secretary. The town council agreed to a 24-hour recess. March 23, 8:00 pm: Mayor Phil called the meeting to order and motioned for a three-week recess. No objection from the council, […]
At Hair Peace Industries (a subdivision of Fledgling Enterprises), where you’re at peace with your hair piece, we understand the cultural and social importance of the comb-over better than anyone. We know that the comb-over is the glue that holds your social life together, and its subtlety channels life energy from the universe. Some people […]
So, you ask, how can I be more pretentious? The easiest way is to use words in combinations that don’t make any sense, thereby making the listeners feel stupid and making you look great. For example, instead of saying, “I like to read books,” say, “The various permutations of counterintuitive vagabonds metaphorically amplify ergonomic sensations […]
Stink bugs are about as useful to the world as the majority of online political arguments. Out here in Pennsylvania, we have a lovely little invasive species of stink bugs that has managed to worm its way into every aspect of our lives. According to Wikipedia, the most trustworthy source this side of the government, […]
With all the recent articles about marijuana being legalized, when I heard “Instant Pot,” I thought it was some new drone-delivered pot of some sort. It sounded like a cutesy name for a budding industry, perhaps an attempt to weed out the more inefficient marijuana marketers. As a non-marijuana user (I probably need to point […]
Whenever my wife drags me into Bath and Body Works (I never go there voluntarily, at least I don’t think I do), I get very confused. If a store isn’t selling TVs, movies, or anything else that fits the stereotypical guy criteria, I tend to spend a lot of time wishing I was at least […]
My sink broke the other day, and the man code requires that I repair this affront to my well-being. Though some may dispute it, being a man comes with certain responsibilities—like grimacing in deep concentration without actually accomplishing anything. The list of manly attributes was carved into a mountain by a frontiersman who was simultaneously […]